For a long time, I kept myself busy... I felt important and needed when I was constantly in motion, and constantly showing up for others. I felt as though I was doing life "right," when I came home exhausted after working from 8 am to 8 pm. It seems, a lot of our self esteem and self worth stems from our "doing." What we are doing, how long we have been doing that thing, where is our "doing," taking us?
Please don't get me wrong, leading a productive life is important, and staying engaged is vital. But for me, I didn't feel satisfaction.. Only exhaustion with complaint as my main monologue.. I have been thinking about space; holding space, taking space, sitting with space, (you get the idea) and how helpful, albeit nerve racking, it can be. More often than not, a space wants to be filled, voids and gaps can be uncomfortable, and even free time can feel selfish. But really, SPACE IS THERAPEUTIC and I would argue, a stretch of more space is necessary for all of us. What is it like to take SPACE? How would it manifest for you? Is it an extra 5 minutes in the morning, perhaps between coffee (or tea) and the shower? Is it a lovely (though perhaps painful) pause during a stressful day, perhaps between big jobs or big decisions? Could it be a quick lap around the block, or more of a meander with no destination? My point is, spaciousness allows room for us to catch up to ourselves; for our whole self to step into our feelings, recognize our unmet needs, and realign. With space, we can show up and be fully present before we take the next step forward. If you are coming to a fork in the road, pause to make sure you are ready. Or take space to truly see the whole fork, before you go left or go right.
What kind of space do you need to continue on in a better way? I encourage you to explore and find out. Or if that isn't quite possible yet, take a holy pause, to feel and tend to your whole self as much as possible, before you continue your path.
I would love to hear how this unfolds for you.